I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
