That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
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Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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