Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
