I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
