You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Still dying that you shit outside
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
