Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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