He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
