God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
