I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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