it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize