i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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