turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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