I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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