it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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