Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
