I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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