Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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