So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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