But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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