I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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