In the future we'll all be gay
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
how can u be prego again
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
