i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
