Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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