He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize