How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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