dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
