I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Hippo gnu deer
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
