its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
