Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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