imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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