I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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