so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
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THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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