its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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