i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
