That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Congratulations! We have a period
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
