i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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