I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
