just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
