I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
