So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize