This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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