Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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