then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
