if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize