I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I am morally bankrupt
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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