Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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