Please, let me fuck your mom
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
