please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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