We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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