I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
