he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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