well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it was like eating out sand paper
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
