I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Actions speak louder than pants.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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