My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
