oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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