I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
