i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
