i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize