Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize